Past present and future....

two posts in one day! ...
this week I have been doing a lot of soul searching,
mainly due to us doing the prepare to adopt classes....
and three times this week people have said sometime
to me that has really made me think about who I was and who I am now.

Earlier this week a lady from my past approached me.
She spoke about when her mum died.
I nursed her mum and was with her when she died.
This happened quite some years ago.
She was thankful how easy I made it for her being with her mum.
I was proud of the Nurse I was.
I don't often feel that pride in myself these days.

The second was my lovely Husband, when we spoke at the adoption class about loss in our lives.
I have often thought about our loss at not being able to have a child.
I have thought about the birth family having a loss, for whatever reason not being able to stay a family with their child.
But I never gave as much thought to the loss the child would have to go through to become our child.
I knew they would have been through difficult times to get to the point they were offered to us, but I never thought about their loss of identity , loss of parents, grandparents, siblings, etc.
When we spoke about loss, and what made it better, my husband said looking at me, that I had made it better..... heart melting moment!

Tonight one of the lovely ladies in the card group spoke about how her husband had been in a long term foster placement as a child.
And how it made such a positive difference in the outcome of his life.
I hope she doesn't mind me posting this, and I am aware they have all taken Emma's blog link, so may read this.
After hearing many people tell me since I " came out " all about adoption & about all the bad beliefs they have about it, how hard it will be, how we could get a child with so many problems, how it wont be the same as having our real baby.....it made such a nice change for someone to say, it can be a good thing, it can be a life changing experience for a child and now in her husbands case and adult life.....and you know what it really was something I needed to hear.
It really reminded me of a bloody good reason for adopting.

Because it will make a difference to somebody, not just me and Andrew, but a child.
Who will be our child.

That's a really good thought for the future....when it gets tough and I am under no illusion it will all be easy......it's something I should hang on to.

cards

I have enjoyed card making for some time now,
some of the things I make I really like,
some I think what a waste of paper & glue!
But mostly thats more about how I feel in myself
sometimes than the result of my card making efforts!
The above card I love, it's something I would never have done myself,
but was shown how to in card making class I have joined in town.
I found it difficult to take the plunge in joining a group,
still feeling nervous among new people.
I was just getting settled into the group and then due to changing Poppy's Puppy class night I moved to a Tuesday evening.
I met Emma there...I am settling right into the Wednesday class now.
And really enjoying what we make.
I need to take more pictures and keep a better blog....I think I have said that before and not done it.....ahhh well, tomorrow is another day!